The local TV news has a feature where someone from the newspaper highlights stories they’re working on for tomorrow’s paper. Tonight one of the stories was about a big increase in the number of kids injured while riding bikes. According to them 128 kids were treated at Children’s in Dayton for injuries suffered while riding bikes this year through May. (Here comes the idiocy) Most of those injuries were fractures, and most of the kids weren’t wearing helmets. No mention of how many were head injuries (the conspiracy theorist in me says this is because it’s too low a number to instill enough fear, or sell enough helmets). Plus if it were a significant number, why not tell us?
Where is the logic in this? Most of the kids broke (I’m guessing) arms and collarbones, why the obligitory helmet reference?
It’s like they quote the injury statistics to prove how dangerous bike riding is, then put forth helmets as some sort of panacea.
Scare the parents into not letting their kids ride their bikes while simultaneously lamenting the rise of childhood obesity.
It really does irritate the piss out of me how the news can’t mention the word bicycle without also mentioning helmets. Like the guy a few weeks ago that was hit while riding at night, with no lights, down the median of a busy road. He died of massive chest and abdominal trauma, but the news fixated on the fact he wasn’t wearing a helmet. No mention of the various unsafe (and illegal) things he was doing which led (directly) to him being hit, just that he wasn’t wearing a helmet (which was of no consequence).
Not once will they mention rider (or driver) education or Effective Cycling courses, no… helmets, helmets, helmets.
They passed a mandatory helmet law in Dayton for kids under 16, but no thought is given to adressing the real cause of the injuries (things like riding at night with no lights, riding against traffic, etc).
Rather than enforce the laws that already exist, they pass new laws. Is the priority actually saving lives, or is the priority simply making it appear as though something is being done without expending too much time, energy, or money?
And yes, I am planning on getting a copy of the paper, and writing a letter to the editor.
Have you seen the Mitsubishi commercial with Devo’s
“Uncontrollable Urge”? Don’t buy a Mitsubishi! They are
in cahoots with Devo, thus, by extension, with the Devil!
So…
I was saying how my cd player would only play ‘Devo’s Greatest Hits’ due to a case of demonic possession. Not being equipped or qualified to perform an exorcism I had to buy a new cd player.
Today I did the “order online pick up in the store” deal with BestBuy. I’m standing at the customer service counter waiting for the computer (another of Satan’s minions) to do what ever it needed to do to complete my transaction. In front of me, back behind the counter, there’s a shelf with a cabinet below it. Apparently this is for items in for service, returns, damaged or defective merchandise… something like that. On the shelf there are two labels. One reads; “DEVO”, the other; “DEVO LOCK UP”.
I didn’t ask what this supposedly means, I know what it means. Devo, the Devil, and BestBuy are in cahoots!
Looking back, it seems so obvious, I should have known it all along.
Apparently I live in some sort of laser/cd-player Bermuda Triangle. My cd changer (which I’d had forever) died recently, so I got a Discman to fill in. Then the cd burner in the computer died. Now my Discman refuses to play anything except Devo’s Greatest Hits. It’s crazy! I’ve got probably 15 cd’s I’ve bought in the last couple of months that it no longer will play, it just whirrs and says “No CD” (I don’t have the patience to test it out with all of my CD’s).
But Devo? Oh it’ll play the hell out of some Devo! Yet another example which proves my theory about diamonds, semi-conductors, and petroleum products being tools/products of Satan.
Who knew the Devil liked Devo?
So, I was perusing the cooking.com website (as I am wont to do) and in the clearance section I found this:
A Tazmanian Devil popcorn popper…
Watch as Taz pukes white, fluffy morsels into your serving bowl. It’s fun and healthy. What could be better!
Just be thankful it doesn’t dispense melted butter too (imagine where THAT would come out!)
Or, heaven forbid, the “Elmer Fudd hot fudge dispenser” eeewwww!
That’s just crazy!
Ex-’Family Ties’ Actor Accused of DUI
June 2, 2004 03:50 PM EDT
BOULDER, Colo. - Brian Bonsall, the youngest member of the Keaton clan on television’s “Family Ties,” was arrested last week on suspicion of drunken driving.
Bonsall, 22, was arrested early Friday by police who said they saw someone vomit out the passenger side window of his car. Asked how much he had to drink, Bonsall responded, “Plenty,” then failed a roadside test.
Police said a blood test showed he had “excess alcohol content” but did not disclose the exact amount.
Bonsall, who lives in Boulder, starred as Andy Keaton for three seasons on the NBC sitcom in the late 1980s that helped launch the career of Michael J. Fox. Bonsall later appeared in episodes of “Star Trek: The Next Generation” and the 1993 film “Father Hood.”
Bonsall was convicted of drunken driving in 2001 and his license was suspended, police said.
That’s a good answer… “plenty”. Not quite as good as my favorite reply to a foolish cop question (From “COPS”).
Foolish Cop: Why did you run away?
Shirtless Hillbilly: I was trying to get away from you bastards.
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