Bandwagon-jumping trend-monkeys (a rant)

What is the deal with the American populace’s lemming-like allegiance to trends and fads?

The “Baby on Board” sign craze of the 1980’s, which then, predictably, started a new flood of imitators/parodies.

The post September 11 explosion of nouveau-patriotic flag waving, and the casual disrespect for the flag that came along with it. The gutters were lined with flags that had fallen off of vehicles, flags were hung in trees and left until they were faded, tattered rags, flags were left out to fly 24/7, rain or shine, unlit. Apparently very few of these “patriotic” folks had any idea there’s such a thing as a Flag Code, although one would expect reverence and common sense to prevent some of the more egregious displays of disrespect.

Lower back tattoos. Young women expressing their individuality - by being just like everyone else.

The yellow LIVESTRONG bracelets (oh, the bitter irony of an arm hanging out a car window, cigarette in hand, adorned with a LIVESTRONG bracelet) and the myriad of colorful copycats that followed.

And now it’s the magnetic ribbons on cars. Star-spangled, yellow, green, pink. An interesting sub-trend in this fad is the shift toward the (in my opinion) stupid-looking horizontal positioning. It’s supposed to represent a ribbon, like the little lapel-versions that were all the rage a few years ago, and it should be positioned vertically. Forget the orientation of the text, it’s just as legible either way, although if anyone can actually read it, they are either following way too closely, or you’re parked, in which case they can tilt their heads and read how caring and wonderful you are at their leisure. And another thing; a “Support our Troops” ribbon on the back of a big gas-guzzling SUV is like me affixing my “It doesn’t take a war to power my bicycle” sticker to my car bumper; it just doesn’t jibe, somehow.

It’s time to wake up and think for yourselves America! If you support our troops, the tsunami victims, cancer research; whatever, then do it in a real and meaningful way; donate to the Red Cross or to the charity of your choice, write a letter to a soldier overseas, send a care package, donate to the USO. The token gesture of slapping a sticker on your vehicle, or a bracelet on your wrist is all well and good, but back it up; make a real effort.

Oh, and feel free to incorporate the phrase “Bandwagon-jumping trend-monkeys” into your vocabulary… who knows, maybe it’ll catch on.