Grocery store comedy

So, I had to make a run to Kroger this morning. Upon returning home and unpacking my groceries I find that they’ve been so kind as to include a circular for their upcoming “Seafood Roadshow” in one of my bags. This event will (according to the ad) feature “Giant Lobster Tails“, “Gigantic King Crab Legs“, “Colossal Sea Scallops” and “Super Jumbo Shrimp” (as if “Jumbo Shrimp” weren’t oxymoron enough).

Roadshow nothing! What with all the gigantism and what-not, that sounds more like a “Seafood Sideshow” or a “Seafood Freakshow” to me. The only things missing are the Mermaids and the Midget* Fish Mongers.

*No offense to any little people who might be reading, it’s all about the alliteration.