Stupid Driver Tricks

I originally wrote this on April the 6th, but waited to post it, not wanting to blog in anger anything I might later regret. Well, I’ve mulled it over and decided to get it off of my chest. Oh, another thing, if you’re offended by profanity you might want to stop reading here.

I’m riding along (on, what else, my beloved chrome Bianchi Pista), approaching a straight-thru “T” (to the right) intersection where the light is red and there are two cars already stopped. Glancing over my shoulder, I see a car well behind, and signal my intention to move to the left of the lane. We’re moving about 10 mph and there’s not nearly enough room for her to pass before we reach the already stopped cars. The next thing I know, I feel something brush my left hip. It’s… a CAR!

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”, I shouted reflexively, setting a bad tone for further dialogue as I veer back to the right.
“You need to get your ass off the road.” she replies angrily, slowing to a near-stop.
“Fuck you, bitch.” I wittily retorted over my shoulder, unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) failing to come up with either of the two words more analogous to “fighting words” with women. Lest you get the wrong impression, I’m really not some raving maniac; I generally try to refrain from using the “F” word (or cursing at people in general), but something about being bumped by a car evidently has a negative impact on my ability to censor myself.

At this point I’ve retaken my rightful place in front of her, albeit at the edge of the road now, the light is turning green, and I’m watching for her to pass, as I roll slowly through the intersection, hopeful of getting her tag number.

Instead, she turned right… the very thing that my move to the left would have facilitated.

I know better than to escalate these situations, but Jesus! She shoved me, with her car! I was hoping that the police would be called, there were several other people/witnesses around, so I felt reasonably sure she wouldn’t run me over or shoot me (though you never can tell). I’m not saying I would have filed charges, but it would have been nice to have a police officer explain to her all the various ways she was in the wrong.

I bet if my ass was made of something that might scratch her paint she wouldn’t be so cavalier about trying to push it off the road! I do rather wish I had unclipped my left foot and put a big metal Speedplay cleat print/dent/scratch in the side of her car. I could easily have justified this as a defensive maneuver (I was just trying to keep from getting run over!)

I hate stupid people. The (not so) amazing thing is this; the incident was quickly forgotten for the remainder of my ride and I had a lovely ride, plus the extra shot of adrenaline got me up and over the hill just beyond that intersection at record speed. It wasn’t until I got home and replayed how this woman had endangered my well-being (and basically assaulted me with her car) merely in an attempt to get to a red light 2 seconds sooner that my blood got to boiling again.

I really do hate stupid people!