Stupid, Stupid Commercials (Warning: yet another TV rant)

So, have you seen the commercials for Northern ‘bathroom tissue’ with the cartoon bears? Now, of course we all know what a bear does ‘in the woods’, but do we really want to think about it?

One features the mother bear demonstrating to the little bear that with the fabulous Northern bear TP, s/he needn’t use so much. Another features this cutesy cartoon bear family, frolicking about, rubbing toilet paper across their cartoon bear bottoms asses.

Do I really want to imagine bear excrement (all full of bells and smelling of pepper spray) when I buy toilet paper? Or dancing cartoon bears, wiping their asses?
No! No, I certainly do not!

I’m starting to believe that when these advertising executives meet to develop new campaigns, they first pass out narcotics, booze, crayons, and possibly hallucinogens, then use whatever idea the last exec standing comes up with; reality-show style.

Examples of this new brainstorming technique’s offspring most likely also include the truly disturbing “The sausage comes from Jimmy Dean” ads, and the thoroughly disgusting Metamucil, Old Faithful, doo-doo geyser ads.