Not Learning from My Mistakes (A Cautionary Tale)

So, several years ago at work, there was a large piece of Butterball turkey breast in the refrigerator which was over 3 days old and therefore destined to be thrown out. Being frugal (and hungry) I couldn’t bear to see it go to waste, so ignoring the voice of warning in my head, I commenced to eat it. After about an hour of blissful snacking, the angry rumbling from my gut announced that I had made a mistake. I spent the next 12 hours in misery, having the lesson driven home. Abdominal cramps, fever, chills, vomiting, diarrhea; the whole shebangabang. After surviving this ordeal, I vowed never to repeat my mistake.

Fast forward to the weekend before last. There I was again, at work, looking for something to eat, when I discovered a package of sliced ham (sandwich meat) in the refrigerator. According to the date, it had been opened a week earlier, but it seemed okay and I figured sandwich meat has a pretty good shelf-life.

So, I ate it. Just as before, my stomach let me know pretty quickly that I had made a mistake. Unlike previously, despite some pretty intense nausea, I didn’t puke (which was probably also a mistake, in retrospect).

No vomiting, no diarrhea (either of which would have been welcome); it was as though my system decided to tenaciously hold on to the tainted meat, the better to teach the lesson. The cramping went on for days; the sweaty, feverish, achy, hit-by-a-truck feeling came about 24 hours in and it was nearly a week before the pain and bloating subsided.

Damn, I’m stupid sometimes!
I won’t do that again (gee, that sounds familiar).