Tasty, tasty grease

Thank goodness they warned me, otherwise I surely would have made a peanut butter and silicon* grease sandwich.

*Yes, I know that it’s actually silicone.

My Sentiments Exactly

I found this image at Mellow Velo.

Click photo to embiggen

I wish someone made a bike jersey with that slogan emblazoned across the back. I’d buy one.

Postscript: KM over at Mellow Velo says he got the photo (he thought) from Drunk Cyclist. I contacted Big Jonny, but someone sent him the photo and he has no idea who owns it, either.

I’ll continue to attempt to solve this mystery. I hate not giving credit where credit is due.

The Problem With Building Your Mother A Computer…

…is that you then become, by default, tech-support. My hair stands on end when she calls on the phone and says, “I’m having trouble with my computer”.

Recently she made that very call. Her computer was making a noise (which she couldn’t describe) and, more troublingly the motherboard’s protection software had popped up a warning “something about heat” just before it shut down. Let me just pause here to say, my mother is an amazing, extraordinarily intelligent woman. She doesn’t, however, know nor does she have any interest in knowing what makes her computer work.

Analyzing the facts at hand, I determined that the most likely culprit was the fan on the CPU heatsink. I pulled up the emailed invoice, checked the Intel website, and determine that it is still under warranty (two years old, 3 year warranty!)

I call Intel, hopeful that with the info from the invoice I can get a new heatsink on its way. No such luck, they need specific info from the fan and from the processor itself. Ok, this isn’t a huge problem, and I at least have jumped the first few hurdles with Intel and have a case number. When I handed the computer over to mom, I had nested all of the component’s boxes into the larger boxes and had her save them, so it shouldn’t take long to locate the CPU box and get the serial number and such… in theory. In reality, a few phone calls later, it’s obvious Mom isn’t going to find the box.

In a scene reminiscent of a 70’s disaster film, wherein the control tower talks the sweating passenger through the landing of a jumbo-jet, I (looking at photos and diagrams online) manage to talk my mother through removing the heatsink from her CPU. Jubilant with her success, she gets off the phone with me to call Intel.

Far too soon, my phone rings, they’re closed for the night.

The next evening, she calls Intel, everything goes swimmingly, and Diego (whom she was quite impressed with) assured her that the heatsink should be there in 2 - 5 days. She gives my email address to send the confirmation and tracking info to, as her computer is (obviously) down.

The tracking info comes shortly after midnight and it says that it was shipped next-day air. The next day I check the tracking status and discover that it was delivered at 9:30 AM! Just over 13 hours after she’d gotten off the phone with them!

So, I call Mom that evening and tell her to look on her porch for the package, then we repeat the control-tower, nervous non-pilot, reinstallation process.

I’d give anything for a picture of my mother’s face when she got it back together and it worked without a hitch. Just the joy in her voice was reward enough. She was (understandably) proud of herself, and I was proud of her. Graciously, she complimented me for doing such a good job talking her through it.

My lovely, amazing mother and Intel’s customer service both earn a resounding:

Uh-Oh, Here Come the Videos

The other day I was perusing the latest Bike Nashbar sale catalog when I came across:

ATC2K, the ultimate waterproof self-contained action cam!

And it’s on sale for only $109.95! I intended to go online and do a little research on this seemingly wonderful device, but kept forgetting. Finally I managed to think of it while a computer was at hand and did a little digging.

It does indeed seem perfect for capturing web-quality video on the bike, lashed under the car bumper, who knows, perhaps even strapped to the back of the cat!

Anyway, a bit more digging and I find a place that has it for $89.95 and they have a coupon code for free UPS shipping! Click-click-clickety-click, it’s ordered!

Presently I’m having some (minor) difficulties with the retailer I ordered it from, so to them I say: No link for you! Due to said difficulties, I go looking for a Plan-B, just in case. Imagine my dismay when I discover that Amazon has it for $83.99, also with free shipping. D’oh!

Naturally by the time I found this out, the problem with my order had been straightened out and it’s too late to cancel the order. Oh well, that’s how they get you, you know.

So stay tuned; videos will be forthcoming!

Monday’s Vacation Ride Triumph (9/17)

Riding along today, I kept hearing a loud ratcheting buzz, after looking down at my gears and rear hub (a Dura-Ace hub whose freewheel is nearly silent, thanks to my having filled it with automotive 80W 90 gear oil) I realized it was another bike coming up behind.

He overtakes, we exchange pleasantries and he pulls through. His pace isn’t uncomfortable for me, so I follow his wheel. I was unable to draft too closely as he was apparently enamored of his freewheel’s buzz and coasted quite frequently. Despite this I was enjoying the draft and a bit saddened by the knowledge that he’d probably drop me for good on the upcoming descent.

Now, I consider myself a pretty good descender, it’s my biggest (only?) strength on the bike. The problem is, at 135 pounds I can’t keep up downhill with similarly skilled but heavier (gravitationally gifted) riders. Anyway, I figure my compatriot here has at least 30-40 pounds on me, so I don’t hold out much hope.

So anyway, as he crests the hill I let the gap open. As I roll over the top (see map) and shift to the big ring he’s sitting up, glancing back at me. Never one to waste a good downhill run, I crank hard a few times, drop into my best aero tuck and shoot past. There was a touch of a headwind, so I barely broke 38mph (the other side of 40 isn’t unusual on this hill). As the road levels out, I glance back, trying not to be too obvious about it, and don’t see him. I repeat my glance-stealing several times and don’t spot him, nor do I hear his raucous freehub (a fact which I later happily attribute to him not coasting at all, pedalling furiously in a futile attempt to close the gap).

Finally, after I’ve made my right turn back in the general direction of home I look back again and see that he’s about 10-15 seconds back and continuing straight on Washington Mill Road.

Wow, I think to myself, even with me slowing to let him catch up he couldn’t close the gap I opened on a short little downhill run; a rare “victory” on the bike for me! Beggars can’t be choosers so I’ll take ‘em however I can get ‘em. Whether it’s dropping timid descenders or out-sprinting little kids; a win is a win!

Of Hippies and Musical Serendipity

The other day I was listening to John Prine’s ‘’Fair and Square'’ CD (a great CD which I highly recommend, by the way) in the car on the drive home from work. As I stopped at a stop sign a man came around the corner pushing a baby stroller.

This guy looked like he could be the guitar tech for the Doobie Brothers. I’m talking early 1970’s-pre-Michael-McDonald here people!

Anyway just then John Prine hit the “Lord, this world will make you crazy” refrain in “Crazy as a Loon“. Not missing a beat I sang along:

“I believe that hippie stole that baby…”

As always, I laughed at my cleverness all the way home.