There’s an informercial that’s been airing for a few months now for something called a Shamwow which is apparently some sort of super-absorbent towel, or something. Anyway, at one point, the pitchman – a spikey-haired douche bag with a Janet Jackson microphone tells me:
You’re gonna spend twenty dollars every month on paper towels anyway.
I am? Goddamnit! What am I, using them to dry off after I shower?
Someone needs to put a stop to me and my conspicuous paper towel consumerism!
Honestly, I don’t think I spend that much on paper towels in an entire year.
Thanks but no thanks, Vince – you can keep your rags.