Yet More Infomercial Idiocy

There’s an informercial that’s been airing for a few months now for something called a Shamwow which is apparently some sort of super-absorbent towel, or something. Anyway, at one point, the pitchman – a spikey-haired douche bag with a Janet Jackson microphone tells me:

You’re gonna spend twenty dollars every month on paper towels anyway.

I am? Goddamnit! What am I, using them to dry off after I shower?
Someone needs to put a stop to me and my conspicuous paper towel consumerism!
Honestly, I don’t think I spend that much on paper towels in an entire year.

Thanks but no thanks, Vince – you can keep your rags.

6 thoughts on “Yet More Infomercial Idiocy

  1. Hi, I’m Jon and I was once a paper towel addict…actually, I did stop using paper towels for some reason the same year my son was born (2000). I just use rags, the plain vanilla ones, like old t-shirts. My mom always had this weird look on her face whenever she would come to visit, as if to say “I wish Jon would buy some melon feverin’ paper towels.” Maybe she was really thinking that she needed a shamwow.

    Seriously, dude, you gots to lay off the cable or only consume with heavy amounts of abusive substances. These guys can and will hock anything. Taste be damned.

  2. Glad to see that you’re getting on board the whole “melon fever” thing, JW. As to your last point, I really don’t think abusive substances are the answer. Seems like that might lower my resistance to the huckster’s spiels… next thing you know, I’m up to my armpits in shamwows, electric pet toenail grinders, and ‘Magic Bullet’ blenders.

  3. That twenty-bucks-a-month thing strikes me as odd too. Aside from that I love the guy’s delivery.

    He says something like, “For the next 20 minutes ‘cos we can’t make this offer all day.” And, “They’re form Germany so you know they’re good.”

    It just cracks me up.

  4. @Delmer: Yeah Vince has that whole over-the-top carnival barker thing down cold. I find him intriguing yet repellent, all at the same time.

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