Ask your doctor

The commercials finally convinced me, so I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sexual activity.
He said, “I’m a podiatrist, jackass.”

Recycling Angst

Sometimes I worry that if I accidentally put the wrong type of plastic in my recycling bin it will send the guy into a wild-eyed rage and he’ll scatter the contents across my yard before hurling the empty bin through my front window.*
That’s a rational fear, right?

* Poorly-drawn cartoon representation on the way, stay tuned