There’s my car!

Just for the sake of clarity here’s my car minus the bizarre cloak of wind-driven snow.

What has that snow done to my car?

Apparently, it’s mutated it into some sort of abominable snow wagon.

I could go outside and get a better shot, but I’m not going to. Looks like I “picked” a good weekend to be off work.

More Muffler Hijinks

Man, that whole muffler thing made me crazy. All that cursing and what-not; shameful!

It did remind me of a funny story from several years ago, though.
I was living in Chattanooga at the time and was driving back home from Ohio. As is my custom, the music was loud and I was passing everyone in sight. And they were all giving me an inordinate amount of leeway; politely moving aside to let me by, changing lanes to avoid being behind me, slowing way down as I passed them, etc. I didn’t think much of it and it wasn’t until I slowed to exit for gas in Kentucky that I heard the muffler dragging. When I got stopped and took a look, the pavement had ground a hole in the bottom of the muffler about 6 inches wide by 3 inches long, so I imagine it was spraying some serious sparks. I left the remains of the muffler beside the gas station trash can and chuckled all the way home at the spectre of my ‘87 Sentra barrelling down the highway, spewing sparks, with me totally oblivious.
That’s just how I roll, boyyyyyyy!

Like I Needed Another Reason To Hate Winter

So, I’m driving home from work today, and as I come across one of the speed-bumps by the park, the whole goddamned exhaust falls off of my beloved Maxima. Well, not off exactly, but down, as in ’suddenly my car sounds like my idiot neighbor’s far-too-loud-to-be-legal-jackass-mobile’ and I can hear shit dragging the ground.

Crawling under the car upon arriving home, I discover that that the intermediate pipe has rusted completely through (thanks, road salt!) and the resonator is now dragging the ground. At a minimum, everything downstream from the catalytic converter will have to be replaced. Oh, joy! Looks like the new bike will have to wait. Thankfully the money that I had saved up for the new bike should just about cover it. Let me just say:

RIP: Celica

Autoblog - RIP: Toyota Celica

What is the world coming to? First Chevrolet announced that they were ceasing production of the Camaro… unthinkable! Then the entire Oldsmobile line went away… unimaginable! Now we find out that the Celica is no more… impossible! Has the whole world gone mad?

1958 Impala Chevrolet

Shortly after returning back to Ohio after Dad’s funeral I had an email exchange with my best friend, Sheldon (The Mighty Polecat), back in Tennessee. I mentioned that he’d have to get me to tell him the story of the “1958 Impala Chevrolet”. Some time passed and he prodded me to tell him the story, so of course I did. After reading it, he was adamant that I should archive it with all my other writings, so… here is that email, minus salutations, complementary closings and such (months after the fact).

When my parents met, Dad drove a “1958 Impala Chevrolet”, I don’t know why, but that’s the way he’s always said it. This was a pretty cool ride for a young dude in 1965-66. He also inexplicably said “Big Red Sodee Pop” the only context in which I ever heard him use the word “sodee”… it was a secret carp catching recipe… dough balls formed from Wonder Bread and “Big Red Sodee Pop” are apparently irresistable to Carp.

Anyway, back to the car…
As this was the first year for the Impala, they are quite sought-after (and thus, expensive) now.

Dad and Roger (his then best friend; later my step-father) both had ‘58 Impalas. Dad had a 283, Roger had the 348. Dad says his would run right with Roger’s until they hit top end. Dad’s was light blue, Roger’s was (I think) white.

The Impala had 6 round, bullet shaped tail-lights, 2 red ones on each side flanking the clear back up light. Dad and Roger both had 6 red tail-lights, having purloined the spares from some unfortunate Bel Air drivers (after all, nobody cool drove a Bel Air). A funny aside… for years Dad denied the whole 6 red tail-lights thing, it wasn’t until his later years that he owned up to it (with a twinkle in his eye).

Anyway, for years Dad had dreamed of owning one again, but alas, none of us could afford one (we were all looking, too!)

When I went to visit in February, Mom sent along a 1958 Chevrolet Impala model kit. We got all the correct colors, and Dad and I (mostly me, he mainly gave input on color and options and the like; and supervised) spent DAYS working on that thing, getting everything just so, doing all the really fine detail work.

He loved that model, he would sit in his recliner holding it, looking it over with a far-away look in his eyes just about every day. The model even came with 6 red tail-lights! We were so afraid we’d have to liberate some off of some unsuspecting Bel Air model.

Anyway, the last time Dad ‘played’ with it, one of the wheels had fallen off, easy enough to fix.

At the funeral home they had (one of) Dad’s rod and reels, his tackle box, Walter (Walter’s a mounted bass), and the model. Much to my surprise it survived being carted about and riding home in the trunk of a limo none the worse for wear.

Then later, either that day or the next, Leslie was moving the aforementioned fishing rod which was leaning against the mantle. The car was also sitting on the mantle. The car came crashing down onto the brick hearth, and I thought Les was going to cry. I was a bit sick over it myself, but I managed to affect Dad’s cool and assured her it would be fine, that I’d fixed it before (several times) and I could do it again.

The amazing/ironic thing is that it wasn’t a wild kid, an errant ball, or any of the things I expected to do it. It was a fishing pole!

I brought the car home, it’s fixable; I just can’t handle it emotionally right now.

I also brought back a couple of fishing reels (one’s a FINE Abu Garcia I gave him about 18 years ago) and I have rods coming (wouldn’t fit/couldn’t be trusted in baggage). I’ll just have to keep the rods away from that 1958 Impala Chevrolet!

Damnit Polecat! You made me cry!

So, there it is. As a post-script, the car is now repaired, my brother-in-law sent the rods, and I’ve made darned sure to keep them away from Dad’s car!

ECheck

So, here in Ohio (in some counties) we have emissions testing. I suppose I’m in favor of this, what with decreasing pollution and all. The thing is this; my “new” car, the ‘96 Maxima’s check engine light was on, and my temporary tags expire May 13. According to the Ohio EPA website, a vehicle automatically fails ECheck if the check engine light is on.

So, anyway… I get the codes from the ECU (Electronic Control Unit) and they are:

1) Front/Left O2 sensor… this isn’t too bad, it’s at least the easiest one to reach (~$75 for the part).
2) Knock Sensor… this one’s a fairly monumental PITA, it’s located in the “V” of the engine, under the intake manifold, thankfully I have small enough hands that it’s at least feasible without removing the manifold (~$115 for the part).
3) EVAP control system/Flow… this is one of those “jackpot” codes, could be any of about 12 different things, probably not terribly expensive, but potentially very time consuming to track down.

Hmm… this presents quite a dilemma, indeed. I decide to reset the ECU (and thus, the check engine light) and try my luck at the E-Check place; the worst that can happen is the car doesn’t pass, and that’s free!

So, I go, I pass (with flying colors), I pay my $19.50 and I’m reading the printout; it says “your vehicle received a tailpipe test because its OBD system was not ready”

I don’t know for certain why it (the On Board Diagnostics System/ECU) “was not ready”, but I have a strong suspicion it may have been because I just reset it. Somehow it just seems wrong that my car was WELL below the limits for hydrocarbons and NOx (like 1/10 of the allowable amount) but it would have failed had the “check engine” light been on.

What this all means that I now have plenty of time to address these issues, rather than knocking myself out trying to scrape together the money and get it done in the next month.

It’s amazing what you can accomplish with a bit of knowledge and a screwdriver!

I wimped out!

So, Sunday night was even colder than the original forecast. The temp as I prepared to leave for work was 2! Two freaking degrees Farhenheit! And still windy! Thus I was reduced to driving the metal box to work, like some common sissy.

I went out to start my car, and was greatly relieved when the door opened right up for me (there’s a long history of the doors freezing shut, the locks freezing, and the entire inner workings of the doors freezing solid… as a consequence of past instances of this and my trying to overcome this phenomenon by brute force, my front passenger’s side door will only open from the outside and my rear passenger’s side door won’t open at all… but anyway, I digress).

I start the car, relieved again that it started rather easily (my car and I both only operate properly at 60 degrees and above). When I go to get out… the door won’t open! After a few moments of cursing I decide to roll the window down and try it from the outside. Bingo! It pops open easily.

The truly awful part is that Winter is only just beginning (technically). Have I mentioned that I hate Winter?