Pseudo News Flash

Winfrey’s latest venture: “Oprah’s Oberlin Ohio Hobo Oboe Orchestra”. You read it here first.

My thoughts on Keith Olbermann’s ouster

Back in 2003 I went to see the “Tell Us The Truth” tour. Steve Earle, Billy Bragg, The Nightwatchman (Tom Morello), Boots Riley, Lester Chambers, and Mike Mills joining forces to raise awareness about the dangers of media consolidation and the FCC’s recently increased “media ownership cap” which allowed individual networks to control a larger percentage of the national market.

Flash forward to today. Media giant Comcast buys control of MSNBC, which then promptly fires Olbermann, their highest rated host.

Tom Morello’s words from 2003 seem particularly prophetic today.

A few massive corporations will soon control all we see on TV and print and radio, there’s a very narrow number of gatekeepers, and that can be very destabilizing for a democracy. Ten years ago, 50 corporations controlled the major media outlets. Now it’s down to six, and everybody loses except the super-rich at the top.

Comical Twitter Exchange

Tuesday I was checking Twitter, like I do (shut up, the fact that you’re reading this disqualifies you from calling me a dork) and I saw the following “tweet” from Conan O’Brien:

Yesterday was the longest day of the year, unless you count the time I interviewed Lance Armstrong.

I got a pretty good chuckle out of that and I remember thinking, “he’d better be careful, you don’t want to piss off Le Lance.” You can imagine my delight when, a couple of hours later, Lance himself posted this response:

@ConanOBrien all you wanted to talk about was riding bikes and shaving your legs. It was, uh, slightly freaky.

While he is often perceived as somewhat “prickly” (or a bit of a dick, if you prefer)*, Lance does seem to have a pretty good sense of humor, as evidenced here.

It came as something less of a surprise that Conan had a funny retort but I got a good laugh out of this:

@lancearmstrong - I was drunk. And I wanted some tips for smoother legs. Is that so wrong?

This type of exchange is what keeps me coming back to Twitter. Of course, regular people are often just as funny as (or funnier than) “celebrities”.

*I’m not passing judgment though, who the hell wouldn’t be, if they were in his shoes?

My vacation

It’s been a busy few days. I drove to Connecticut to my little sister and brother-in-law’s Tuesday (the 12th). Due to the traditional late start, I didn’t roll in until 4AM Wednesday, which meant that Wednesday was basically a recovery day.

Thursday was DaveCon. I rode the train into NYC from CT, met up with all my a.f.l. pals and had a fabulous Late Show experience. Then we shot the Tony Mendez Show (starring Tony Mendez) and off to dinner. Tony joined us at dinner and, as ballet season hasn’t started yet (he’s a huge fan), this year he stayed all evening, eating, sharing behind-the-scenes gossip and shouting “no more pictures“. A more in-depth DaveCon trip report is in the works. (DaveCon photos, here)

Friday I again rode the train in and met Traci, Helen, and the no longer yella Brady for pie. Due to some bad directions I was a bit late and missed Micah and David Yoder. Helen and Traci were headed to see the new Trek movie at the I-Max theater and Brady was bound for points unknown. I headed out to shop and sight-see by bike. Once I got going I was so totally overcome with, and enamored by, the rush of slithering through traffic that I lost sight of everything else. I weaved my way up the East side, through Harlem, into and around Central Park then down through the theater district and Times Square. Basically the only stops I made were to grab a hot dog, a pretzel, a banana, a slice of pizza, etcetera, devour it, and jump back on the bike. Finally, spent, I made my way back to Grand Central Terminal. I thought I could take my bike on any off-peak train and so I bought my ticket and boarded the 8:04 train to New Haven. Along comes the conductor and informs me that no, I have to wait for the 8:35 train, so, dejected, I get off the train and wait. Not a big deal, Grand Central is a wonderful place to pass some time, I was just tired and ready to head ‘home’.

Saturday and Sunday were spent hanging with the family and the doggies and a wonderful home-cooked meal, complete with a Vermont Mystic Apple Pie (thanks, sis, and Danny, for finding the pie).

Monday was another day of riding in NYC. Pie for breakfast then another train ride into the city. The weather was a bit cool and threatening-looking so the wind breaker put in an appearance (all day). I was a bit more successful in my shopping endeavors, and had a delightful lunch/snack in Chinatown. I had some sort of mystery cake; a dense sponge-type cake, covered in crushed nuts and filled with banana creme. This, a cup of tea and a big slab of fresh-baked bread set me back the princely sum of $2.10. (Cycling Manhattan photos, here)

I really can’t overstate how much fun I had. DaveCon was, once again, everything I could hope for (well aside from not getting the tour or photo-ops at Dave’s desk. Curse you, Kevin Spacey! And a pox upon you too, “Survivors”).

Cycling in Manhattan was, quite possibly, the most fun I’ve ever had. Weaving and slithering through traffic I felt, quite literally, like some kind of super-hero. I really do love New York.

Special thanks to all those involved for making it the trip of a lifetime (you know who you are).

Tuesday I drove back home and got to see Pennsylvania by daylight for the first time. It’s a lovely state. I’m thinking of relocating to Sugar Notch, PA.

Oh, and Kevin Spacey? You’re still on ‘the list’.

Do I have a stalker?

I think Mike McIntee of the fabulous CBS Late Show Wahoo Gazette might be stalking me. ‘What makes you think that’, you ask? This excerpt from Thursday’s Wahoo Gazette, for one thing.

I was reading in somebody’s blog today about his being bitten by a dog. Dog bites man? I didn’t think that was news.

You would think the least he could do is toss a link my way, like before.

Maybe Twitter’s not so bad, afterall

For quite some time I’ve resisted the pull of Twitter, Facebook, MySpace… all of the so-called “social networking” sites (I wrote about it here).

Anyway… recently I bit the bullet and delved into Twitter where I was amazed to discover that none other than Eddy Merckx is a Twitterer. Reading this “Tweet” (God help me, I hate writing/saying that) by the legendary “Cannibal” has sold me on Twitter.

maybe you ask how fast old man go? not so fast, but somedays if on bike and no see reflection I am twenty five again and racing a grand tour

Kathy Griffin, Setting the tone for the year to come

When I heard that Kathy Griffin was sharing hosting duties with Anderson Cooper on CNN’s New Year’s extravaganza, this is exactly the type of entertainment I was hoping for.

Close Encounters of the Perv Kind

Perhaps you’ve seen Stan Romanek, the delusional idiot guy with the video of an “extra-terrestrial” peering in his bedroom window.

I have, and I fail to see what’s so special. You can’t look out my window at night and not catch an extra-terrestrial looking back. Goddamned interstellar-illegal-alien-peeping-tom-pervert-sons-of-bitches!
I really don’t get why they’d travel millions of miles just to look at me in my underwear, but whatever….

On a side-note, am I alone in thinking that at one time Larry King was actually a respected journalist, or has he always been an opportunistic crackpot?

Weird-Ass Dream

David Letterman had as his guest Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. Strangely, instead of the typical interview, they were playing a game that was a cross between miniature golf and soccer, which involved them scooting about on desk chairs while avoiding various obstacles and trying to kick golf balls (they each had their own) into sequentially numbered hole/basket/goals. This game was created by Jerry Lewis, who had appeared earlier to (somewhat comically, somewhat disturbingly) explain it.

As the two of them played the game Paul and the band accompanied the action with calliope “clown music” (I wish I knew the name of the tune; it’s instantly recognizable). They were neck and neck coming down toward the final goal when Dave grabbed the arm of CT’s chair with one hand then with his other hand reached into CT’s suit jacket pocket where there was an asthma inhaler which he discharged 6 or 7 times (as a diversion?)

This allowed Dave to kick the winning goal, whereupon he shouted “35 points!! In your face, Thomas!” (No, I have no idea how he arrived at the 35 point figure.)

What does this all mean?

It could just mean that I’m nuts; or it could simply indicate that when a medication cautions it may cause “vivid dreams” what they really mean is “weird-ass dreams”.

That’s not so much a side-effect as it is a ‘bonus’ in my book. I mean seriously, if you gotta have side effects, that’s not a bad one to get.

Still Missing Warren

Today (Jan 24, 2008) would have been Warren Zevon’s 61st birthday. It’s hard to believe that he’s been gone for over 4 years now. Anyway, in celebration of Warren’s birthday I present you with the following video from the Late Show with David Letterman.

The news of Warrens terminal cancer diagnosis had recently come out and Warren’s old pal Dave Letterman dedicated an entire show to his friend, giving him the whole hour. This was the show where when he was asked by Dave how his work now (as he worked feverishly to complete one last album with the time he had left) compared to before, when he assumed he was healthy Warren replied:

You’re reminded to enjoy every sandwich and every minute of playing with the guys, and being with the kids and…

One Last Jump - RIP Evel Knievel

Evel Knievel: 1938-2007

Another icon from my childhood has shuffled off the mortal coil. Like many boys in the 1970’s I was inspired by Evel’s exploits to build makeshift ramps and jump over things on my bicycle. It was a purple Schwinn Stingray-clone, a Sears ‘Spyder’. 1 gear, coaster brake, a rack for carrying school books, and a sparkly purple seat. Man! I loved that bike. What great adventures we had, most of which didn’t culminate with the sickening sound of melon-meets-pavement and/or a trip to the emergency room.

Anyway… as per usual, I digress.
Thank you Mr. Knievel, for inspiring an entire generation of boys to jump, crash, wipe off the blood, dust ourselves off and try again.

You were a real-life, flesh and blood superhero, something the world could use a few more of.
Godspeed, Evel, Godspeed.

Another Squandered Opportunity

So, it was with deepest regret that I realized yesterday (Saturday) was the day Henry “The Fonz” Winkler was in town for an evening of dinner, dancing (honestly!) and discussion on the importance of education at the Project SOAR — (Sailing Over Academic Requirements) fundraiser.

I so wanted to make a spectacle of myself by leaping up (in the requisite “semi-formal” attire) and shouting;

“I paid my $25… now dance with me, Fonzie!”

Oh well, it’s probably just as well; I’m pretty sure no one else would have found it nearly as funny as I would. Plus, that’s just the sort of thing that can get you branded as a raving lunatic in many small towns. Like I always say;

“Vast amounts of comedy escaping into the vacuum of indifference.”

Yep.