Why is it that every week the Sunday paper comes in a bright blue plastic bag, except for this week; with snow piled everywhere it’s in a white bag? Oh sure, the bag says “Happy Holidays” in green script, but I think there are nefarious forces at work here.
So, last night I shoveled, and I shoveled and I shoveled. A few hours later, looking out the window, it was like I had never shoveled at all. I sit up, drinking coffee, and relaxing until I decide to hit the hay around 2-3AM. I sleep the sleep of the dead (shoveling tons of wet heavy snow then taking a muscle relaxer will do that to you). When I awake I’m shocked by the realization that I’ve overslept terribly and it’s almost 7PM! Ahhhhh!
The snow is piled up on my front porch so high that the storm door (which is up a step from the porch) won’t open. We got some sleet so it’s extra-crusty super-hateful snow. First off, I’m annoyed that I didn’t get any mail, and by the terrible condition of the streets (the ones I can see, anyway). I shovel my way out to my car, come in to warm up and get to thinking; “Even with all the snow cover, it’s awfully light for 8 at night.” Rushing to the computer to check SNTP; “God’s own time” I have a revelation.
It’s 8am! And I’m an idiot!
It’s been snowing all day today, sure it’s pretty and all, but there’s already a good 8-10″ on the ground and they’re now saying that by tomorrow evening we may have 15-23″. That’s just too damned much snow! Thank goodness I’m done with my Christmas shopping and don’t have to be anyplace until work Friday night (when they’re calling for overnight lows of -13F… is there no end to the torture?)
So, Sunday night was even colder than the original forecast. The temp as I prepared to leave for work was 2! Two freaking degrees Farhenheit! And still windy! Thus I was reduced to driving the metal box to work, like some common sissy.
I went out to start my car, and was greatly relieved when the door opened right up for me (there’s a long history of the doors freezing shut, the locks freezing, and the entire inner workings of the doors freezing solid… as a consequence of past instances of this and my trying to overcome this phenomenon by brute force, my front passenger’s side door will only open from the outside and my rear passenger’s side door won’t open at all… but anyway, I digress).
I start the car, relieved again that it started rather easily (my car and I both only operate properly at 60 degrees and above). When I go to get out… the door won’t open! After a few moments of cursing I decide to roll the window down and try it from the outside. Bingo! It pops open easily.
The truly awful part is that Winter is only just beginning (technically). Have I mentioned that I hate Winter?
Last night when I rode my bike to work, it was 37(F) and I was riding into a 20-30 mph wind. Not pleasant, but tolerable. This morning riding home it was 14(F) and the wind was still blowing at 25-35mph, but had shifted just enough to now be either in my face or a viscious cross-wind for the entire ride home. Oh, and it snowed overnight too, just for good measure. I will have to admit that I derive a certain twisted pleasure from riding along, puffing great clouds of steam, frost in my mustache, shouting “sissies” (and far worse things) at the “cagers”.
Tonight I think I’ll be reduced to driving (like some kind of sissy), it’s supposed to be even colder, then like 5 or 6 degrees (and windy) in the morning.
I really hate Winter!