If I know anything about kids (I don’t), I know there are three things they like:
Sugary breakfast cereals
Armed with this knowledge, I’m going to make a fortune with my new breakfast cereal — Crispy Shit Bitz. Think poop-shaped Cocoa Puffs. Genius, I tell ya.
The word “donut” came into popular usage in 1942 when we were saving “g”s and “h”s for the war effort. We’re no longer conserving “g”s and “h”s, so knock it off already. They’re doughnuts.
The other day I was perusing the Rural King website, my curiosity having gotten the better of me after a friend told me they sold baby chickens and turkeys there. Apparently they also sell “Bunny Rabbits” — with this “disclaimer”:
“Bunny Rabbits are only to be used as livestock.”
So don’t you even think of trying to make pets of them, or using them for some sort of twisted egg-delivery service.
Here’s a fun thing to do: Write your grocery list on the back of a postage paid envelope. After you finish your shopping, drop it in the mail!
I suspect that Anthony Weiner (AKA Carlos Danger) is secretly a fan of the Hives’ drummer, Chris Dangerous. Then again, who the hell isn’t?
A big, black and white spotted car that jumps through hoops:
I think there might be something wrong with me.
I have come up with a plan to solve this country’s immigration “problem”. Instead of deporting them, we simply make illegal immigrants watch “Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy” until they decide they no longer want to live here and they leave of their own accord.
Shouldn’t take more than a couple of episodes.
A car with a tiny version of itself in the glove compartment:
I know… I’m sorry.
I thought I was done with this, but they just keep coming to me.
Word is, NASA has contracted with a Japanese automaker to build a vehicle to explore Uranus.
(Southpark fans will get this).
An electric car using 1950’s technology:
A Vacuum Tubaru.
Call me crazy, but I think there’s something sketchy about that unicorn.
So, what about this? I get a green Impreza and wrap it in paper.