From MSN, here’s further proof the world has gone mad:
According to a report in the U.K.’s Daily Mail, one school in the town of Wellingborough is allowing pupils to swear at teachers, providing they only do so no more than five times in a class.
“Within each lesson the teacher will initially tolerate (although not condone) the use of the f-word (or derivatives) five times and these will be tallied on the board so all students can see the running score,” the Daily Mail quoted White as writing in a letter. “Over this number the class will be spoken to by the teacher at the end of the lesson.”
Click here for full story
This has to be one of the stupidest things I’ve seen recently. When I was a kid, using the “f-word”, or any derivative, just once during class would earn you a quick trip to the principal’s office; where he would “speak to you”… right before he spanked your ass with a paddle! And you know what? We didn’t curse at our teachers, ever. Such a thing was incomprehensible; I can just imagine the shocked silence after a kid cursed at a teacher in more civilized times.
Welcome to the age of diminished civility, increased hostility, and lowered expectations.
You know there will be at least one little smart-ass who will save up and drop all 5 “F-bombs” right at the end of class.
Fuck yeah they will, the fucked up little fuckers.
When I first saw the headline for this story, I thought; “Geez, they caught some poor schmoe with a little bit of reefer and now he’s going to lose his job and maybe go to jail.” Of course, I pictured him in my mind as “Otto” from the Simpsons, but anyway…
It turns out that this dude sold a kilo of cocaine to undercover cops. Let me repeat that; a kilo… 1000 grams… 2.2 pounds of cocaine!
Holy crap, how much are they paying school bus drivers these days that they can afford kilos of cocaine? And how is it that a city the size of Dayton has that kind of supply? I mean seriously, this isn’t L.A. or Atlanta we’re talking about, it’s Dayton Ohio, a city of ~165,000 people. That’s a gram of coke for every 165 people in the whole city. I find it hard to imagine that 1 out of every 165 Daytonians (Daytonites?) has the desire (not to mention the disposable income) for a gram of cocaine.
HoustonChronicle.com - Dive-bombing grackles send workers running
Here’s a snippet from the article:
Aggressive grackles around the County Administration Building launched attacks Monday that left a lawyer bloodied…
I’ve always enjoyed grackles, first off; they’re striking birds, all shiny and black with purple/green iridescence and pale yellow eyes.
Secondly, it’s just fun to say “grackle”… try it, it’s fun!
Thirdly, they make neat noises and have a certain “swagger” about them.
And now this. Any bird that can kick a lawyer’s ass is ok by me! Go Grackles!
Australian researchers revive plan to clone extinct Tasmanian tiger - Yahoo! News
Did these people not see “Jurassic Park”? No good can come from this. Those freaky-looking things are going to run amok and eat us all!
Good news on severed goat heads: Satan not involved - Yahoo! News
Here’s a brief excerpt;
A 19-year-old worker at a local slaughterhouse has admitted he took the two heads with the intention of having them mounted, but then changed his mind and left them at the school in hopes a janitor would dispose of them.
I don’t think they should be so quick to embrace the “Satan not involved” premise. Who do you suppose planted the whole “Hey, you know what would really tie this room together? Some mounted goat heads!” seed in his empty little head in the first place? My guess — the Devil. Although, it could have been Jose Cuervo or Jim Beam or one of those guys.
“Whew, thank goodness it wasn’t devil-worshippers, just a deranged jackass from the slaughterhouse… we can rest easy tonight.”
This also begs the question; “Are there no garbage cans in Vancouver?”
Einstein (with whom I happen to share a birthday) was right vis-à-vis the relativity of time and space, and I have proof.
As you drive from Indianapolis, Indiana toward Dayton, Ohio on Interstate 70 there’s a sign not too far from the Ohio border that says “Dayton 40″ (miles). Roughly 1 mile later there’s another sign; this one says “Dayton 39″. So far so good. 5.2 miles later, after crossing into Ohio, there’s a sign. This one reads: “Dayton 40″. Not 34, not 35… 40!!!
Richmond, Indiana (right on the state-line) has always made me vaguely uneasy, now I know why!
Ok, maybe it doesn’t prove the theory of relativity, but it certainly proves something!
Have you seen the TV ad for Jimmy Dean’s new breakfast snack thing where the woman says:
“the eggs come from real chickens, the cheese comes from real cows, and the sausage comes from Jimmy Dean”?
That’s right up there with the Metamucil-Old Faithful ad in the revolting imagery race. First off, there are several truly disgusting ways that “comes from Jimmy Dean” could be interpreted. Second, I don’t think it’s a good idea to get people pondering where sausage actually does come from.
What the hell are they thinking?
Yuck!
Man Mistakenly Cuts Off Penis, Dog Eats It
Mon Oct 4,10:41 AM ET
BUCHAREST (Reuters) - A elderly Romanian man mistook his penis for a chicken’s neck, cut it off and his dog rushed up and ate it, the state Rompres news agency said Monday.
It said 67 year-old Constantin Mocanu, from a village near the southeastern town of Galati, rushed out into his yard in his underwear to kill a noisy chicken keeping him awake at night.
“I confused it with the chicken’s neck,” Mocanu, who was admitted to the emergency hospital in Galati, was quoted as saying. “I cut it … and the dog rushed and ate it.”
Doctors said the man, who was brought in by an ambulance bleeding heavily, was now out of danger.
So, I was perusing the cooking.com website (as I am wont to do) and in the clearance section I found this:
A Tazmanian Devil popcorn popper…
Watch as Taz pukes white, fluffy morsels into your serving bowl. It’s fun and healthy. What could be better!
Just be thankful it doesn’t dispense melted butter too (imagine where THAT would come out!)
Or, heaven forbid, the “Elmer Fudd hot fudge dispenser” eeewwww!
That’s just crazy!
Here’s a funny tale of drunkenness for ya:
In February in Chichester, N.H., Thomas A. Barrett was fined $240 and given a six-month suspended sentence for his no-contest plea to creating a false fire alarm. Barrett told the judge that he was celebrating his 21st birthday at Jillian’s Bar & Grill, and as he staggered down a hallway to the men’s room, he mistakenly urinated on the floor and pulled the fire alarm, which he thought was a toilet’s flushing mechanism.
[Union Leader (Manchester), 2- 20-03]
Damn!